Monday, February 28, 2011

We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.

I am not a fan of Mondays.
To be completely honest, I do feel kind of bad about that because I know Monday can't help being the first day of the work week, but I don't feel bad enough to actually like it.

Although, today is kinda special... 
National Tooth Fairy Day!!!
You know, there's just nothing quite as wonderful as teaching kids that they can sell their body parts for money to some random stranger who's broken into their homes.  ::sigh::  It's just precious! 

All creepiness aside, after discovering the holiday, I began thinking of the classic fairy tales which, of course, led me to Cinderella.  

Never has there been a more tyrannical dictator right?!  I mean, did you see the size of those mice she had working for her in the Disney version??  There's no way she followed labor laws with them!  I'm surprised no one's notified the Better Business Bureau!  It's time someone stood up for those poor unfortunate souls... oh, wait, wrong movie.  
Still though, someone should do something about this injustice...

So I made a completely edible replica of Gus Gus.

Power to the Mice Folk!

Gus Gus is made out of caramel, piping gel and fondant.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It's No Coincidence that Man's Best Friend Can't Talk.

Today is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.
I know this because I'm one of those crazy folks that likes obscure holidays.  It's true.  You probably have nightmares about meeting me in the supermarket, knowing that a large portion of our small talk will most likely revolve around this.  The thing is though, these wacky holidays make me happy, so I don't mind if you dread seeing me - I'm gonna like 'em anyways.  

So back to today, International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day, in addition to making my two cutie patootie pooches some homemade dog biscuits (here's the website for the recipe if you're interested: ), I decided to make dirt pudding.
::Sighs:: Dirt pudding... so deliciously simple.

As I was mashing the begeezus out of my oreo cookies, I began thinking of my grandmother.  (That sounds much worse than what it actually is, I PROMISE.)  I tend to think about her quite a bit when I'm working in the kitchen; it's my way of staying connected with her.

Anyways, there was one day when I was growing up that I will remember for the rest of my life.  I was hanging out in the family room of my grandparent's old farmhouse while my grandma was baking something in the kitchen.  Suddenly, a delicious aroma drifted my way.  I peered out from my wicked awesome fort I had just made with their two lazyboys and a couple of blankets, and watched as my grandma put, what looked to me, to be five little cookies on the window sill to cool.  She said something to me (looking back, I probably should have paid more attention to what it was) and then left the room.  Being the sneaky little scamp that I was, I went to investigate.  The cookies were warm and smelled like peanut butter,... my favorite!  I quickly popped three of the tiny yummies in my mouth and began to chew.  At that moment, my cheeks looking like I was a chipmunk storing up for the winter, my grandma walked back into the room and saw me.  She stopped dead in her tracks and began laughing until she teared up.  Once she regained her composure and I had managed to swallow my stolen goodies, she informed me that I had just consumed, not three wonderfully delicious peanut butter cookies, but rather three wonderfully delicious peanut butter flavored dog biscuits.
Ahh childhood.

So, with that delightful memory lingering in my mind, I decided to make dog-themed dirt pudding.

The dog is made out of caramel, the bone is made out of white chocolate and the grass is buttercream icing - all of which are human food, just fyi. :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

You Just Died of Dysentery...

Okay, so that's a little much, but it felt that way.
Well, actually, that's a lie too since I don't know what dysentery feels like, but I can imagine it's not good.
While we're on the subject, did you know that approximately 600,000 people still die from dysentery every year?!  Crazy right?

Okay, sorry, anywho...
Long story short, the evil Schooloan Kid and his Thrill-Kill Bandits took my happy and I want it back.

My treacherous journey today leads me to, well, a Chinese restaurant.  Maybe it was the fact that my husband and I just watched Shanghai Noon or maybe it was just my hankerin' for some Pa Pa Chicken... WAIT, I'm sorry.  I just said "hankerin"... I'm Midwestern, not Podunk, I apologize.  Let's try this again.
Maybe it was the fact that my husband and I just watched Shanghai Noon or maybe it was just my stomach craving (MUCH better) some Pa Pa Chicken, but whatever it was, there, in China Super Buffet (with help from Karen Tack and Alan Richardson's "What's New Cupcake"), I found my inspiration.  I would make fortune cookie cupcakes.   Not with real fortune cookies, mind you, because that would just be dumb.

The fortune cookie would really be a caramel molded to look like a fortune cookie.  Sneaky... very sneaky.

Ancient Chinese Secret:  fortune cookie make you happy, and fat if eat too much.